God said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you''ve had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give "love" and compassion whenever needed." Adam asked God, "What will this woman cost?" God said, "An arm and a leg." Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?" The rest is as they is history...
Surgery
A beautiful girl is lying in a hospital bed about to undergo minor surgery. Soon after she is wheeled into the corridor by a nurse, then left alone.
While the nurse is away, a young man in a white coat approaches the girl, takes the sheets away and starts examining her naked body. He walks away and talks to another man in a white coat. The second man comes over and starts examining her.
When a third man comes over and begins to examine her body, the girl begins to grow impatient. "All of this examining is great, you guys are really thorough," she says. "But when will I be having my operation?"
The first man shrugs his shoulders. "Beats me. We're just painting the hall."
:) gooddoggi that wuz cool.
ReplyDeleteJOKE!
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen this guy's an escaped convict - look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jailand hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which the wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you too."