(September 20, 2005) Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf's remarks about rape, million dollar baby Ms. Mai and immigration aroused moaning, bitching and uproar in the international circles.
"The situation described by President Musharraf is very encouraging and we decided to open a rape clinic in the belly of Pakistan - Islamabad," said the chairwoman at the Canadian Immigration Services. "But only slim, slutty and sexy women can freely visit the center, get raped according to the immigration protocol and the sharia laws, then get an interview with the consul general in order to emigrate to Canada. If the streamlined pilot program works, we will include raped animals and sodomized men to the list." Canada expects to fund the opening of more rape clinics all over the Muslim world, according to an anonymous source close to the government circles.
In turn, the Canadian Lottery Association in association with "Who Wants To Be A Millionairess?" reality show are interviewing local talent to export and franchise the immigrant-friendly-rape clinics and distribute the lottery winnings equitably among the rapist and the raped under the Equal-Rights-Amendment to the Canadian Constitution.
"If a woman is gang raped just once, she only obtains a green card. If she is gang raped twice, she deserves a Canadian citizenship outright," said the pilot program director. "In the case of three gang rapes, she is qualified for generous welfare benefits and disability pension until her first bastard child is born. The initial reaction is very encouraging, especially when the majority women single out the third option."
CNN extended a prime time slot to raped immigrant women during the first trimester to bash American imperialism and international Zionism for erecting impossible high roadblocks for molested women and abused animals to immigrate to the USA. "Its imperative to publicly badmouth our staunch ally in the region, General Musharraf, and open the back door for the Islamists to grope the power in Pakistan, so the rape victims can immigrate to more moderate countries like Turkey, Iran and Lybia," read the statement issued by CNN.