Friday, November 4, 2005
Sunday, October 2, 2005
When you boot to the recovery console the default prompt wud be C:\Windows
Type cd.. (including the 2 dots) & it will take u to the C:/ prompt & then type in the following commands
1. Attrib –H –R –S Boot.ini
2. Del Boot.ini
3. Bootcfg /Rebuild
After each & every command u have to press enter. After doing Fixboot take winxp cd & restart the system.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
(September 20, 2005) Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf's remarks about rape, million dollar baby Ms. Mai and immigration aroused moaning, bitching and uproar in the international circles.
"The situation described by President Musharraf is very encouraging and we decided to open a rape clinic in the belly of Pakistan - Islamabad," said the chairwoman at the Canadian Immigration Services. "But only slim, slutty and sexy women can freely visit the center, get raped according to the immigration protocol and the sharia laws, then get an interview with the consul general in order to emigrate to Canada. If the streamlined pilot program works, we will include raped animals and sodomized men to the list." Canada expects to fund the opening of more rape clinics all over the Muslim world, according to an anonymous source close to the government circles.
In turn, the Canadian Lottery Association in association with "Who Wants To Be A Millionairess?" reality show are interviewing local talent to export and franchise the immigrant-friendly-rape clinics and distribute the lottery winnings equitably among the rapist and the raped under the Equal-Rights-Amendment to the Canadian Constitution.
"If a woman is gang raped just once, she only obtains a green card. If she is gang raped twice, she deserves a Canadian citizenship outright," said the pilot program director. "In the case of three gang rapes, she is qualified for generous welfare benefits and disability pension until her first bastard child is born. The initial reaction is very encouraging, especially when the majority women single out the third option."
CNN extended a prime time slot to raped immigrant women during the first trimester to bash American imperialism and international Zionism for erecting impossible high roadblocks for molested women and abused animals to immigrate to the USA. "Its imperative to publicly badmouth our staunch ally in the region, General Musharraf, and open the back door for the Islamists to grope the power in Pakistan, so the rape victims can immigrate to more moderate countries like Turkey, Iran and Lybia," read the statement issued by CNN.
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Start > Settings > Control Panel
Double Click on Administrative Tools
Double Click on Services
Start Service: Automatic Updates (This one is probably already started)
Start Service: Background Intelligent Transfer Service
Start Service: Event Log
Retry Windows Update and it should work.
All three services i.e. Automatic Updates, Background Intelligent Transfer Service, and Event log must all be started for the updater to work.
Friday, June 10, 2005
You can get shit-faced, Be shit out of luck, or have shit for brains.
With a little effort, you can get your shit together, Find a place for your shit, Or be asked to shit or get off the pot.
You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit.
Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between Shit and Shineola.
There are lucky shits, dumb shits, crazy shits, There is bull shit, horse shit and chicken shit.
You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.
You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.
Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty.
Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.
You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.
You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shits creek without a paddle.
Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.
When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language.
And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!
You could pass this along, if you give a shit.
Or not do so, If you don't give a shit!
Well Shit, it's time for me to go.
Just wanted you to know that I do Give A Shit and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of shit.
But if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shithead........Well, shit happens!
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is . . . having sex.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . having sex.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.
TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge . . .mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
But there is hope.
The White Collar Slacker's Handbook: Tech Tricks to Fool Your Boss (Que Publishing) is packed with ways to build some quality time into that workaholic life and still keep people believing you're chained to your desk.
"The idea is to regain your personal life by using these same devices that are tethering you to the office," Saltzman says in an interview.Here's a snippet from the section on portable devices in the book:
* Learn how to edit your BlackBerry messages to make it look like you're in your stupid cubicle like you should be!
* Forward your office phone number to a handheld device so that your customers or clients think you're diligently plugging away at the office.
* Copy an entire DVD over to your PDA or cellphone so you can watch Office Space while in your office space.
* Fake an incoming phone call so that you can get out of a meeting.
* Learn how to play sound effects on your cellphone so your boss thinks you're stuck on the freeway when you're really just running into the shower!
OK, perhaps he isn't entirely serious, but all of these things and more really are explained.
"The book was written with tongue firmly planted in cheek, but there are some really good practical tips in there," says Satzman.
Besides writing syndicated columns and books on technology, he also appears as an expert on various TV shows and regularly on TechTVCanada.
The one thing he doesn't really do is hold down a job where he has to slack off, since he's pretty much his own boss.
But that doesn't mean he hasn't used the odd trick or two himself to avoid having to explain why he hasn't finished a book or project by the appointed deadline.
"I've submitted articles to editors that were jargon files," he confesses.
A jargon file could be a photo file converted into a word document, for example.
The trick is to file the real article before they get too frustrated trying to open or unscramble the mess that appears on their computer.
Saturday, May 21, 2005
The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light".
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it.
She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through.
So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!" Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh shit, am I driving?"
A: I said, "Dust!"
Q: Why aren't there Mexicans in Star Trek?
A: Because they have no FUTURE.
Q: What's worse than spiders on your piano?
A: Crabs on your organ.
Q: How do police know that princess Diana had dandruff?
A:They found her head and shoulders under the steering wheel.
Q: Have you seen Stevie Wonder's latest CD?
A: No? Well, neither has he.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame! He makes that little boy walk." They then decided that they would both walk!
Soon, they passed some more people who thought that they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey. Now they passed some people who shamed them by saying how awful it was to put such a load on a poor donkey.
The boy and man said they were probably right, so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and the poor donkey fell into the river and drowned.
Is there a moral to the story?
Yep: IF YOU TRY TO PLEASE EVERYONE, YOU MAY AS WELL KISS YOUR ASS GOODBYE.
The Champions League final on May 25 in Istanbul will enter the history books as it brings together two sides that have won a record combined ten trophies in Europe’s premier competition, the Champions Cup and Champions League as it is known now. Milan have won six cups: at Wembley in 1963 against Benfica, in 1969 in Madrid against Ajax, in 1989 in Barcelona against Steaua, in 1990 in Vienna against Benfica, in 1994 in Athens against Barcelona and in 2003 in Manchester against Juventus. Liverpool, for their part, have won the trophy on four occasions: in 1997 in Rome against Borussia Monchengladbach, in 1978 at Wembley against Brugge, in Paris in 1981 against Real Madrid, in 1984 in Rome against the home-town side. Overall, the Rossoneri have played in nine finals since 1958 and as two years ago, will play in all white while the English side will be in all red for what promises to be a wonderful evening in the Ataturk Olympic Stadium.
Tuesday, May 3, 2005
Liverpool shocked Chelsea to move into finals of the UEFA Champions League, courtesy Luis Garcia. Liverpool, which trails the already crowned Premiership champions Chelsea by 33 points, must now wait until Wednesday to find out its opponent in the final. Either AC Milan or PSV Eindhoven will earn a date with the Reds on May 25 in Istanbul. AC Milan holds a 2-0 lead in its tie after a home win last week.
It was good to see the smirk wiped of Jose's face at last and the defeat spoiled Jose Mourinho's attempt at back-to-back Champions League titles. The current Chelsea coach guided FC Porto to the title last season. The loss also denied the Blues an opportunity to complete a treble after having already won the Carling Cup and Premier League titles.
Chelsea beat Liverpool in the final of the Carling Cup. It could not, however, keep the Reds from pulling off the improbable and getting their revenge in the Champions League.
Drogba - 24 million pounds
Duff - 17 million pounds
Makelele - 16 million pounds
The look on Jose Mourinho' s face when he has to suck it up during the post match interview -- Priceless
Jose' s Post Match Interview
Jose Mourinho shrugged off the disappointment of his side's semi-final defeat at Anfield to declare: "I hope Liverpool win the final."
The Chelsea boss insists his side didn't deserve to finish the game as losers but he has now wished Rafa Benitez and the Liverpool players all the best in Istanbul.
He said: "From my heart I want Liverpool to win the final. It will be good for the Premiership if they do and I really mean it when I say I hope they win.
"I don't think they were better than us on the night, in fact the best team lost. There is no doubt about that. They got an early goal and then just defended for the rest of the game.
"They defended with committment, energy and enthusiasm and did it very well. Sometimes football can be cruel and I think it was cruel on us tonight."
Mourinho was less than impressed with the linesman's decision to award Luis Garcia's early strike, especially as TV replays have also proved inconclusive.
"He has to be 100 per cent sure," he said. "And even when you see it on the TV you cannot be sure.
"But we all make mistakes. These things happen. I don't think the Anfield crowd interfered with my players at all, but maybe it interfered with other people.
Monday, May 2, 2005
Mac OS 10.4 "Tiger" went on sale at Apple Authorized Resellers and Apple retail stores worldwide. The operating system includes "200 new features and innovations" that are sure to make Mac users upgrade to the new OS.
Another item which is sure to attract customers is the price of the OS. A single user license has a suggested retail price of US$129, but a Family Pack consisting of a single-residence, 5-user license is available for as little as $199.
Two star features of Tiger are Spotlight and Dashboard. Spotlight is a new desktop search technology that allows a user to find anything stored on his or her Mac, including documents, e-mails, contacts, and images. Dashboard offers a new way to quickly access information and applications called widgets.
The server version of the OS, Mac OS X Server 10.4 Tiger, is also now on sale. A 10-client edition is priced at $499, while an unlimited-client edition will run you $999.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Pope on a rope
Cleanliness is next to Godliness. Wash away your sins with Pope soap on a rope, guaranteed to cleanse even the grubbiest souls. Coming soon (maybe) is the new range of world leader soaps called dope on a rope featuring the highly talented and articulate President Bush.
Wednesday, April 6, 2005
Friday, April 1, 2005
Gmail turns 1 today. To celebrate one-year birthday, Google is doubling the capacity of each account giving everyone upto one more gigabyte. They also plan to continue growing the storage beyond 2GBs. Google will add a yet-to-be-determined amount of extra storage daily, with no plans to stop.
"Our goal is to make sure storage is no longer an issue for Web mail users," said Marissa Mayer, Google's director of consumer Web products.
Anyway, Gmail will remain in a beta, or public test phase, for now.
At the same time, Google is testing phishing protection. When a Gmail user opens a suspected phishing message, the software displays a large red dialog box stating: "Warning: This message may not be from whom it claims to be. Beware of following any links in it or of providing the sender with any personal information."
Just last week, Yahoo said it would offer 1 GB of storage to users of its free email service, four times more than it had previously offered.
My Gmail account storage space currently stands at 1360 MB and counting.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Yahoo has planned upgrade of email storage space for its mail users from 250 MB to 1 GB starting April. The current move could help yahoo to compete Google. In the worldwide search engine war this could provide a boost its Yahoo!.
Google`s Gmail is expected to become available worldwide to anyone from the 1st of April. Gmail was till date an invitation service. Yahoo will also provide a Mail Space of 1 GB to all free accounts starting April.
The current free Mail storage limit is 250MB. Yahoo will also offer free email virus scanning based on famous Symantec product.
Experts are awaiting Google next move to make Gmail popular. Gmail provides context based text adverts and not big images and flash adverts like Yahoo!
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
One of the best browsers around and is giving Internet Explorer a tough fight. No wonder with all the things like
1) Tab browser - one window, multiple tabs, much easier to browser than before without all the windows cluttering.
2) Faster loading. Try loading a page in Firefox and IE 6.0. Firefox loads faster. You can tweak it to your liking.
3) Download Manager - Reliable download manager, you can pause the download and continue (provided you do not close Firefox). I downloaded an almost 500MB file by leaving the machine on overnight; the file was downloaded correctly, no need for any intervention.
4) Auto shrink-to-fit - IE printed pages might get cropped on some website.
5) Clean auto-installation of plug-in, themes etc of which there are tons on the Moz website and pretty small download sizes too.(like 12 kb, 60 kb...I have yet to come across a plug-in of more than 600kb)
Get it from the link below..only 4.7MB and trust me, you'll never go back to IE.
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Bollywood star Salman Khan (L), popular Indian television show host and actor Aman Verma (C) and actor-turned-Parliamentarian Govinda (2nd R) looks on as actor Aarbaaz Khan (R) speaks on the 'sexpose' by India TV channel, at a press conference in Mumbai on March 18, 2005. (source: indiatimes)
Friday, March 18, 2005
A spokesman of the US embassy in New Delhi said Gujarat Chief Minister Narendra Modi has been denied a diplomatic visa and his tourist/business visa already granted had been revoked as per the US Immigration and Nationality Act.
Following is the text of a letter United States Congressman from Pennsylvania Joe Pitts and 21 other US Congressmen sent Secretary of State Dr Condoleezza Rice requesting that Modi be denied permission to enter the US 'due to numerous reports of his involvement in horrific human rights violations in India.'
March 7, 2005
The Honorable Dr Condoleezza Rice
Secretary of State
US Department of State
2201 C Street, NW
Washington, DC 20520
Dear Secretary Rice:
We are writing to raise our deep concern about the upcoming visit of Mr Narendra Modi, Chief Minister of the state of Gujarat, India. As you may know, Mr Modi has been invited to be the chief guest at the annual conference of the Asian American Hotel Owners Association to be held in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida from March 24-26, 2005. We respectfully request that the US government deny Mr Modi entry to the United States due to numerous reports of his involvement in horrific human rights violations in India.
As you may know, Mr Modi was the Chief Minister of Gujarat during the 2002 riots in which over 2,000 Indian Muslims and non-Hindus lost their lives. Since that time, reports suggest that over 100,000 people remain displaced and are unable to return to their homes or communities. Numerous inquiries by Indian officials and non-government organisations have determined that the state government in Gujarat, led by Chief Minister Modi, provided leadership and material support for the rape and murder of over 2,000 people, including women and young children, and the destruction of homes, businesses and resources primarily belonging to Indian Muslims. Mr Modi made public statements and directed official actions seemingly calculated at justifying his orders to increase attacks on and kill religious minorities while ordering the police not to interfere.
After an extensive investigation of the violence in Gujarat, Human Rights Watch stated that the "attacks against Muslims (and other religious minorities) in Gujarat have been actively supported by state (BJP) government officials and by the police."
In addition, The Citizens Tribunal in India, led by retired Supreme Court Justice V R Krishna Iyer, concluded that the state government of Gujarat under the leadership of Chief Minister Narendra Modi was responsible for the violence perpetrated against religious minorities in Gujarat in 2002. Furthermore, the US Department of State reported that in "Gujarat, there continued to be credible evidence of prejudice in favor of Hindus and an unwritten policy of impunity against the perpetrators of the 2002 religious violence."
Chief Minister Narendra Modi and his government have obstructed attempts to bring the perpetrators of the 2002 violence to justice. Mr Modi and his administration closed the files on over 2,000 police cases where the non-Hindu victims filed reports of rapes, killings and destruction of their property. The Gujarat state administration claimed there was no evidence to prosecute those cases. However, most of the people named in cases against the police are associated with Mr Modi's political party.
In a recent unprecedented order, the Supreme Court of India ordered the reopening of all those cases to be tried in a neighbouring state by a special bench of judges. The Supreme Court of India called Mr Modi a "modern day Nero" and warned him not to meddle with the proceeding of the trials.
Furthermore, the US State Department has discussed in one of its reports the role of Chief Minister Narendra Modi and his government in promoting attitudes of racial supremacy, racial hatred and the legacy of Nazism through his government's support of school textbooks in which Nazism is condoned.
For example, in a high school social studies textbook, the "charismatic personality" of "Hitler the Supremo" and the "achievements" of Nazism are described at length. The textbook does not even acknowledge Nazi extermination policies or concentration camps except for a passing reference to "a policy of opposition towards the Jewish people and [advocacy for] the supremacy of the German race."
In addition to his reported culpability in the Gujarat riots and his promotion of racist ideology, there are widespread reports of Mr Modi's leadership of the harassment of Christian religious and educational organizations over a number of years. Further, on a daily basis Chief Minister Modi and his government actively harass Christian leaders and Christian religious organizations who are involved in the relief and rehabilitation work of the victims of violence by extremist Hindus.
Even further, Mr Modi ordered a census, ruled illegal by the Gujarat High Court, of the Christian community -- the same action he took prior to the orchestrated attacks on Muslims in 2002. Even Indian Hindus who oppose Modi's violent tactics against the religious minorities are harassed and intimidated by state authorities. And, under his leadership, the state of Gujarat passed an anti-conversion law in strong violation of the Indian Constitution and international human rights norms to which India is a party.
We are deeply concerned that a visit to the United States by Chief Minister Modi is in violation of the International Religious Freedom Act and will provide tacit approval of his reprehensible statements, policies and actions that violate the core of the fundamental human rights upon which our nation is founded. We respectfully request your leadership in publicly condemning his actions and policies by denying Chief Minister Narendra Modi the right to enter our country.
Thank you for your attention to this serious matter. We look forward to hearing from you.
Congressman Joe Pitts
To give Mr. Pitts a piece of your mind, go here: http://www.house.gov/pitts/service/correspond.htm
Monday, March 14, 2005
Both the brothers Vitali and Vladimir in sober mood
Some comparison where we would fit in
Lennox Lewis has confirmed he will not be fighting Vitali Klitschko later this year. Momma Lewis pleaded her son to not fight Klitschko again (they last met in 2003 after ref stopped the fight (cut below Vitali's eye, see pic below) and Lewis won).
TTTTTTell me 'bout it, casting couch is rampant in movie industry, all hush hush. Well do I care, I say fug them royally. My only disappointment was that they did not make a whole movie (ala Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee or much recently Paris Hilton) and make a celebrity sex scandal.
Title of the movie (choose one or suggest): Sumdi mein kumdi or nandu sab ka bandhu...aoooooo.
Oh and there was a donkey rally in B'bay against Shakti, way to go guys.
Shakti as a judge in "item number" search contest.
It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope - Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a gut inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump intot his pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."
Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."
We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See? If he'd been wearing a sign, I could have stopped him.
I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't ya know I misjudged the height of a bridge. the truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning..ok..no problem. I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked "So..is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said "no I'm delivering a bridge...here's your sign."
Reproduced what I read on the net
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Wednesday, March 9, 2005
In another face-off, Lyon demolished Werder Bremen (hold your breath 7-2 a UEFA CL record)...guess the striker...former Arsenal man Sylvain Wiltord.
Duff after scoring a goal.
John Terry - Chelsea Captain
Sir Alex (ManU coach) after the match
Arsenal v Bayern Munich
B Leverkusen v Liverpool
Juventus v Real Madrid
Monaco v PSV Eindhoven
Tuesday, March 1, 2005
She says: "It looks cold, what should I do?"
He says: "Put it between your legs."
She says: "What about the smell?"
He says: "Hold its nose."
How do you know when you're really ugly?
Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.
God said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you''ve had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give "love" and compassion whenever needed." Adam asked God, "What will this woman cost?" God said, "An arm and a leg." Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?" The rest is as they is history...
A beautiful girl is lying in a hospital bed about to undergo minor surgery. Soon after she is wheeled into the corridor by a nurse, then left alone.
While the nurse is away, a young man in a white coat approaches the girl, takes the sheets away and starts examining her naked body. He walks away and talks to another man in a white coat. The second man comes over and starts examining her.
When a third man comes over and begins to examine her body, the girl begins to grow impatient. "All of this examining is great, you guys are really thorough," she says. "But when will I be having my operation?"
The first man shrugs his shoulders. "Beats me. We're just painting the hall."
Saturday, February 26, 2005
The Stupid Test!
OK. Pay close attention.
Here is a very simple little test
comprised of four easy questions
to determine the level of your intellect.
Your replies must be spontaneous and immediate,
with no deliberating or wasting of time.
And no cheating!
On your mark, get set, go...
1: You are competing in a race
and overtake the runner in second place.
In which position are you now?
Answer: If you answered that you're now in first,
You overtook the second runner and took his place,
therefore you are now in second place.
For the next question try not to be so dim.
2: If you overtake the last runner,
what position are you now in?
Answer: If you answered second to last,
you are wrong once again.
Think about it...
How can you overtake the person who is last?
If you're behind them, they can't be last.
You would have been last.
It would appear that thinking
is not one of your strong points.
Anyway, here's another question to try.
Don't take any notes or use a
calculator, and remember,
your replies must be instantaneous.
3: Take 1000. Add 40. Add another 1000.
Add 30. 1000 again. Plus 20.
Plus 1000. And plus 10.
What is the total?
The correct answer is 4100.
Try again with a good calculator.
Today is clearly not your day,
although you should manage
to get the last question right...
4: Marie's father has five daughters:
Question: What is the fifth daughter's name?
Think quickly...you'll find the answer below..
It's obviously Marie!
Read the question properly.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
From a science-fiction show of note
A window was something you hated to clean
And RAM was the cousin of a goat
Meg was the name of my girlfriend
And gig was a job for the nights
Now they all mean different things
And that really mega bytes.
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano.
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3-in. floppy
You hoped nobody found out.
Compress was something you did to the garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for a while.
Log on was adding wood to the fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode.
Cut you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu.
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead.
But then came the dark period, achoo, sorry which hasn't gone yet. It's supposed to be spring and winters are still here.
Checked BBC News and its the same the world over. Somebody puhleeze give me the username and password of God's website.
Fugged me these winters.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
PARIS HILTON PHONE HACKED; PRIVATE NUMBERS OF STARS FLOOD INTERNET; FBI INVESTIGATES
Sun Feb 20 2005 09:39:20 ET
Private telephone numbers of celebrities have been unleashed on the Internet after an apparent hacking into Paris Hilton's T-MOBILE SIDEKICK Address Book, the DRUDGE REPORT has learned.
The FBI has opened an investigation into the hack, a government source said.
The DRUDGE REPORT has confirmed the authenticity of many of the unlisted and super-secret numbers: Private phone numbers and email addresses of Eminem, Lindsay Lohan, Christina Aguilera, Andy Roddick, Ashlee Simpson, Victoria Gotti, Vin Diesel, Anna Kournikova and many others!
One top star reached Sunday morning expressed total outrage at Paris.
"I gave her my number after we met in Miami, I did not know she f**king kept it on her cellphone!" the star explained.
A website posted the digits over the weekend, with the message: "I'm Sorry Bitch :) GG FGT SLT BTCH! HACKED BY THE NIGGAS AT DFNCTSC"
Also splashed in the hack, Paris Hilton's private notes, listed by date.
From Hollywood to Vegas to New York -- and back, Paris Hilton's notes, road directions, hotel and airline preferences are exposed.
A man entered his favorite restaurant and sat at his regular table. After looking around, he noticed a gorgeous woman sitting at a table nearby all alone. He motioned the waiter over and asked him to send their most expensive bottle of Merlot over to the woman, knowing that if she accepted the bottle, she would be his.
The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, "This is from the gentleman seated over there," indicating the sender. She regarded the wine, not looking at the man, and decided to send a reply note to the man. The waiter, who was lingering for a response took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.
The note read: "For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and 7 inches in your pants". After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to return this to the woman. It read:
"For your information, I have a Ferrari Maranello, a BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600 and a Porsche Turbo in my garage. There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you would I cut three inches off.
Just send the bottle back bitch."